Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Ringing in John's lucky number 14

You know that New Year's song..... the one that is played in all the cute RomComs with Tom Hanks and/ or Meg Ryan (or for you youngun's, Jennifer Lawrence and/ or Liam Hemsworth and the song is going to be penned by Taylor Swift)?  Auld Lang Syne!  Yeah, that one.  That song cracks me up.  Know why?  The song is taunting us to hurry up before THIS year ends to finish up all our business so that the new year can start fresh.

That's. Just. Dumb.

First off, for those of you with real grown up jobs- you've taken the last week or two off.  You were smart and didn't check the work e- mail and made damn sure that your assistant didn't forward any voicemails to you.  Hell, that employee went above and beyond by just checking your messages, summing them up in a tidy e- mail and marked the e- mail as urgent so that when you go back on the next business day, it's the first thing you see.  But if you are not so lucky to have someone awesome like that (ahem, like me), then you are going back in with a screaming client/ boss/ employee/ co-worker/ vendor on your e- mail/ voicemail.  From last year.

Second off, guess what.  No one suddenly develops a new personality at the stroke of midnight.  Actually, I think most of us drunks are more annoying at midnight.  Unless you're a nun, then you are just sleeping.  Unless you're a good Catholic nun.  Then you are at church praying for us drunkards at midnight.  Joking aside, we go in with the best intentions, but unless we are willing to REALLY look in the mirror, we are still the same.

BUT, we are stronger from the past year.  That might be the big change.  I know I'm definitely stronger, but I'm still annoying.  It's just part of my ADD.

Third, because people like the false hope that Auld Lang Syne presents us with, they actually end being more of a stressful person to be around (no matter what the capacity).  Some of you are in this big hurry to have all this "business" completed by December 31st, so that January 1st can be that fresh start!  With the new calendar up, that serene picture of SomeIslandNoOneHasEverHeardOf replacing December's picture of ReallyCuteAnneGeddesBabyInSantaDiapersUnderAPristineTree, you suddenly catch all the upcoming important dates.  Credit card payments due, mortgage/ rent due, you just got your bill in from AmEx detailing alllllllll those purchases made on Black Friday (you see now that those weren't really good deals, huh).  Once again, you guys, stop hurrying!  There is no magical stroke of midnight that changes everything (okay Cinderella?).  I have a friend who is stuck at her office today dealing with her clients' need to RUSH.  Seriously guys, most of those tax breaks aren't that big of a deal anyway.  Let the woman go home.

I've already kind of detailed what has gone on this past year.  It wasn't a very good one, but I know people who had it worse than me, so those blessings are counted and definitely passed along to those who need them.  I have no special business that I feel like has to be completed by today, except keeping whatever nasty cooties that John has at bay, or not... Actually, they can just hit.  The sooner I'm over with the bug, the better.  I learned that my method of job searching sucks and I need to get off my fat ass and actually get people face to face.  I learned that there are inspiring and awesome people around me.  I learned that my kids are rock stars.  I learned that I don't need to put up with anyone's shit, but also need to have some patience.

You want to know why else nothing magically changes at midnight?  Because you were so busy trying to accomplish all those BIG things to be done and over with, that you left behind the little things.  Your oil still needs changed.  The decorations still need put away.  The dog still needs walked, fed, thrown the tennis ball, and vaccinated.  Your pool still needs cleaned.  Your hair still needs cut.  Your spouse still needs a hug.  All those things that you were actually trying to hide, are still there.  Deal with them.  NOW.  Okay, at least write it down so that it doesn't come up and bite you in the ass when it's Valentine's Day and you are feeling the romantic pressure of setting that reservation up at the really cool rooftop restaurant overlooking the mountains/ ocean/ prairie land.  Or April 15th.

Oh, and something I really miss every year since we left Ohio?  The fun we had with our good friends playing beer pong, socializing, EATING, drinking and playing other games.  Then we would brave the icy roads of North Ridgeville to get home and sleep it off.  Ever since we got here, we have not built those kinds of relationships and I'm not sure why.  Maybe because we missed home, maybe because we felt out of place, maybe because we subconsciously didn't want to.

Also, I wonder if the Cleveland Browns camp even bothers playing that song at their holiday party.  Because seriously, they change staff more than I change my mind.  Those parties must be fun "hey, Haslam, remember when we fired Chud?" "Why yes, Banner, that was just yesterday!  Happy New Year, this will be our year!"  Ugh.  That's why they need to hire me as their Organizational Development/ Staff Development guru.  They suck.

Whether you will be at home tonight watching Ryan Seacrest's Rockin' New Year's Eve, out at the coolest place getting your drink on with friends, or being safe and having a house party..... I wish you all a healthy and happy 2014.  I know great things are coming.  And I'll be where God wants me to be- with my husband in a safe place (we'll probably be asleep thanks to his antibiotics and my tendency to crash by 8).  And because I'm not planning on shopping for a new outfit for any funerals, please use this service:

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