Saturday, June 29, 2013

Time for an overhaul.... major overhaul

I haven't blogged in awhile.  I thought it had been over a year because when I tried to find the blog, Google suggested it had been deleted.  Well crap, there were a few of my writings that I really loved and felt worthy of an award.  Oooh, that's a good idea!  The Blogger Awards!  Someone get on that, cuz I'm really funny.  Oh wait, where were we?  That's right!  Anyway, I found a post I wrote back in December and remembered that I had problems sharing it on Facebook, became frustrated and just gave up.

But as I was talking to a friend at a baseball game about job hunting woes, she mentioned that an acquaintance of hers began blogging and gained some recognition that way.  Karen mentioned that with my humor and writing style that I should give it a shot.  I had started something on Wordpress, but grew bored with my own self- loathing and if I tried to find the blog now I would not remember the login information.  Sigh.

So when I logged into my Lemonhead blog, I remembered all my prior writings of depressing/ woe-is-me/ boohoo/ waaawaaa and you know what?  I deleted them.  I kept the few posts that were fun and positive to read.  And that is what this is going to be about.  I decided that I'm tired of being in my own head.  My brain psyches me out and I have myself believing things that just are not true.  Factor in the whole job fiasco right now and I'm just downright miserable.  But then I took a look at patterns from the past couple of years versus the prior several years.  Patterns that seemed to always evolve while certain behaviors were at play and life events were happening.  I reminded myself that God (and life, for my atheist/ agnostic friends) was testing me, to see if I could truly handle the wonderful blessings in my life that have been granted.  And the perfect test happened a few weeks ago at work.

I work at The Cheesecake Factory (no, Penny does not work there).  It's been stressful simply because prostituting your personality for survival money can become daunting and if you know me, then you know that biting my tongue and holding sarcasm inward is like asking Perez Hilton to keep a secret.  But regardless, that are other things that bug me and John kindly reminded me that no matter where I am, something is going to bug me.  Point stated.  It's also because I'm holding this stupid Master's degree in my hands and haven't found the opportunity to use it yet.  So, when an incident happened a few weeks ago at work I was just.... done.  I had already talked to a manager regarding some other things and on this particular night that same manager was beginning to cop an attitude.  If they only knew.....  And ever since that night there is a co- worker who has REALLY been a bitch.  I decided it's another test.  How am I going to handle the bitch and her little cronies?  I'm not.

I thought of all those people in my past life that I had begun to have a problem with and how I handled it.  I tried whining my way into their life.  I wanted so badly to be their buddy.  I needed their approval. I have nothing in common with this person!  I had nothing in common with those other people!  There is just a certain type of personality that I am not meant to be friends with and I have no patience for their shenanigans in my space.  And when I find a job, this person won't matter anymore.

So, I have to make a change.  I am making a change.  Also, I'm tired of women with more kids than me having a better body.  Time to shape up.  Hey, JUSTINE!  What happened to our 7 a.m. workouts?